Squeaky Clean!

So,I had my colonoscopy at noon today. After a fun 36 hours of prep, my procedure went fine- nice nap!! (I sometimes wish that I slept that relaxed all of the time. Haha!)  A small polyp was removed. I don’t have to have another scoping for five years. Yay! 

Thanks to Derek for being my chaperone. We went on a lunch date to Firehouse Subs afterwards. Soooo yummy!!! Now time to relax and read as I still feel a bit woozy from the anesthesia. 

Tomorrow I will undergo the second half of my gum surgery. Yippee! The fun never ends! 

Meanwhile- new glasses! Derek and Ashton both told me that they make me look “intelligent”. Ummmm…thanks????

So in honor of today’s events, I give you my fractured Christmas Carol composition (to the tune of “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas”):

I Want a Colonoscopy for Christmas. 

I want a colonoscopy for Christmas

Only a colonoscopy will do

I don’t want to eat, solid food or treats

I want to spend my day warming a nice white porcelain seat. 

Oh, I want a colonoscopy for Christmas

I don’t think Santa will mind, do you? 

He won’t have to use, the dirty chimney flu

Santa, please just give me TP so that I can #2. 

I can see me now on Christmas Eve

So full with laxative 

So hard to relax, when you hit the Miralax

Thank goodness the scoping comes with a very strong sedative 

Oh, I want a colonoscopy for Christmas

Only a colonoscopy will do

Swigging a liquid diet, can be such a riot

Going again to the john, brain on autopilot 

Yes, I want a colonoscopy for Christmas

Only a colonoscopy will do

No food for a day, might make me shed a tear, 

But in the end I’ll have a clean and squeaky rear. 

I can see me now on Christmas morning

Knocked out from the meds

Oh what a great surprise, when I open up my eyes 

To have lost all that time, as soon as I hit the bed. 

Yes, I want a colonoscopy for Christmas

Only a colonoscopy will do

Check for hemorrhoids, and for those pesky polyps

For anything that looks bizarre, just pull out all the stops. 

Oh I want a colonoscopy for Christmas

Only a colonoscopy will do

When the task is done, we will give a great big cheer!

Thank goodness this process doesn’t happen…every…year!