A cold nose and a broken heart

We had to put our beloved dog, Jake, to sleep on Sunday afternoon as he was very ill.  It has been hard on us all.  I have attempted to write this 3 times now.  How do you properly descibe how much you love a dog who has been in your life for almost 14 years?  Derek and I adopted Jake in Austin, TX in June 1999.  He was a year and a half old when Derek spotted him in a small cage at the SPCA.  There he was with stiches in his neck after getting in an "argument" with the neighboring fox terrier in the next "cell".  He jumped up when we peeked in at him and we knew he was meant to be ours.  Loud of mouth, warm of heart he traveled the country with us from Texas, to New Mexico, to New York, to Oklahoma with a few other states, including Indiana, thrown in.  I suppose it is only fitting that he spent his last days in Texas.  He was our first kid.  He faithfully guarded the two other "pups" who later joined us.  He never complained except during bathtime, and he even learned how to howl.  He was the one "person" I could continuously let down and he still welcomed me home, wagging his whole body as his stump of a tail was too short to show his complete and utter joy. 

The house is far too quiet now.  I sat on the bed for 10 whole minutes last night before being able to part with his towels and blankets which I had lovingly washed and folded one last time.  He is no longer here to "protect" the house from squirrels and evil other dogs.  He is not here to smell shoes way down deep to make sure you are part of the pack.  He is not here to clean up the floor when the kids drop food.  He is not here for cuddle time at night on those rare occassions I have time to curl up with a book.  He is not here to beg for just one more bone. 

He is not here, and I am having such a hard time saying goodbye. 

I love you Jake.  Don't annoy God too much with all that joyful incessant barking up there in doggie heaven.